This morning, here I was sitting at my work place thinking about how bad of a day I was having, how I terribly miss a lot of things and the situations I am in right now. Thinking how I can go on with life itself. Hhh..Sometimes it just feels different, sometimes it just feels like I'm putting too much time and effort into something and not getting the same in return. Sometimes I feel like I'm wasting my time, and I'm just refusing to believe its true. But I know I'm not wasting anything, not even my time. It's just one of those things that you're just able to tell.
I think its a problem that just comes with, especially being the way I was brought up and raised. After all, I still get a little confused about it. My dad was my all time hero and when I was living with him in California, he always taught me to dream big and never give up. I had high expectations and if I ever failed, there was no way, shape or form was I disappointed of the progress that came with it even if it lacked for the matter. I tried finding ways to control such situations wherein I could benefit from it as well. But this time, it is out of my control and out of my hands. I can only do so much. But for once, I want to be me. Successful and ambitious in a good way. I know I can't do this all myself. But I'm happy I have someone to deal with the consequences for the time being. But I know it won't be like this forever. But I will not lower my expectations cuz I know I was raised better than that. I'll just have to keep growing even if my path takes me to the blurred and blurry side of life.
...to be continued.