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    Sunday, November 2, 2008

    Time Apart & Time Together

    One of the fascinating traits in our nature being a woman is our ability to drown ourselves into the man that we truly adore. Women like us, somehow, has the capacity to become attached emotionally, some very off-the-wall, and believe that the man that we adore shares the same desires and feelings that we are experiencing. Nonetheless, this can be a sure fire way to push the "man of your dreams" out of sparkle, and worse, out of your life.

    Certain things happen in relationships. Be it platonic or real romance. But being obssessive doesn't necessarily mean you really have to worship the one that you love. Most of the times, it just really scares the hell out of them. While most guys may enjoy the pleasure and the advantage of having an obssessive girlfriend. And I suppose, if you really wanna make things work out for the both of you, may I suggest that you avoid being an obssesive gf.

    If you love him, you won't lose him. Don't go all the way out to him. Just accept him for who he is. It is such a deep respect for him that you would never want him to change in any way for you. A guy has so much to offer if he is given a space to be himself. Since space is a zone intended only for him, when he wants to chill with his friends, so be it. It's important to let him know that it's okay for you that he's having a good time and to spend time with his boys. (Even if it means for faking it.) You know deep within yourself that you'd rather be the one he spends his time with. However, if you force this to happen, it will only result into a petty quarrel or him pulling further away. Strengthening the relationship is the main thing, if you're able to encourage and support his space, it will build up his belief that you want what's best for him. Patience is a virtue. And in this case, he will surely appreciate this when the time comes.

    As for us girls, it is vital that we also take the time off for ourselves. Even if it requires the thought that at this point, he won't be around but still supportive of you. It's all about personal growth and experiencing new things. It's not about focusing only on the one you love.Taking time for yourself isn't selfish. If you aren't the best person you can be, then you can't expect to be the person you need to be for him.

    Afterall, this whole obssessive thing only begins in the first quarter of the relationship. To be able to keep a healthy relationship, you’ve got to keep it balanced. For instance, some couples spend time apart to be able to keep their individual identities. It doesn’t always have to be about both parties, but showing an interesting side of each personality. If he goes out with his boys, try going out with your friends as well. While he’s into his other side, it gives you the time to reconnect with old friends or relatives. After setting aside your guy for a while, it’s best to set up a time and day to bond again. Doesn’t it feel good when you miss someone and finally see them again? It will be like the same feeling, hence, when you get together it igives both people in the relationship to enjoy the time while each of you has a grounding point or rather the ultimate feeling of being back in each other’s arms.

    While at certain point, there is a time apart and a time together, there is also another full stop to knowing when to back off and keeping it low. Learning his body language and instead of asking too many annoying questions, learn to listen to what he says. Men don't always come out and say how they feel, and may not even tell even if you ask a hundred times. If you feel that he may be pulling away a bit, do not force yourself on him. At this point, we tend to get clingy which drives them away from us. And the only left for us to do is to let him know that we're available when he wants or when he feels that it's okay to discuss the situation.